Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
