I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
