I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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