that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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