kristin has been a bad kristin
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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