You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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