Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
