So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
