So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
