would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
