do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
