Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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