Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
