there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize