Do you still have your period?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
