Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I fill condoms, not promises.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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