I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
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