She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
