he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
