jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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