you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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