this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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