If that was your dad, he is hot
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
