maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
