Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just tell him i said nine months
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
