You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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