You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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