he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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