Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
