I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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