You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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