I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
