I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
