My liver just broke up with me...
I've blown a few things in my day
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
