can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
