'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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