I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
