..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
