So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
