At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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