"it" just moved
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The beer is more important than you right now.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
