It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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