Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
