you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
