just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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