So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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