He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
