So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
