i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
