There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
