So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
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