he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize