ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
